I keep telling myself that having nothing to say is keeping me from beginning (this blog), but I’ve always been known as the talkative child in my family, so what am I really afraid of? Failure? Or is it just an excuse?
As part of Reverb10 I made a list of 11 things I do and do not need for 2011. Re-reading the “do need” list, one thing that really stood out to me was— Courage. I need the courage to begin truly listening to myself and allowing myself to act. I don’t think I’ve been acting in a way completely counter to my feelings and desires, but I also wonder how often I act under societal pressures and expectations over my own interests. The need to “go out more” or “join the right club and be active” always run though my head, but is it really me doing the talking? I’ve always felt like I can fool even myself, so I sometimes worry about my motives in cases like that. But maybe this worrying is just the same as the fear–an excuse; a new way to be neurotic instead of simply accepting myself and following my gut.
If I feel the need to stay in, go out, work more or less and I’m happy and financially stable, what does it matter? What my peers, family, and society expect of me is not as important as what I genuinely want for my life. Why do something you dislike out of obligation if you don’t have to? You’re not hurting anyone (within reason) by following your gut.
Resolved: Have the courage to act in they way you desire and set yourself free from any other expectations.